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Saturday, May 29, 2010

midget cruise

Captains log

5-21-10... About 2pm.

We are safely in our state room.. Iggy, Louie and I are all set for adventure… the ship is cool.. I mean the it has bars and ice cream all over the place.. I have already eaten twice and we haven’t left the port yet. So that and booze, I am probably looking for about 30,000 calories expected. The wi fi isn’t free, so I have chosen to just give my self 30mins a day.. So I doubt I will get to chat with all my land locked friends.. If you have something pressing, obviously email me, I will probably budget my time into a few log in and logs out through out the day.

Already booked for tomorrow is a 5 pub bar crawl… we are quite excited.. And the Hawaiian shirts will make their debut… first off I immediately want to thank Dicky. He is the coordinator of this trip.. I guess there are like 40 of us… He has his event planning shit together.. I mean he is like 50, so he has a few years on me, but just to give you a taste.. The tour bus picked us up near the midgets house and not 10minutes after we were rolling, the bloody Marys were flying… now it wasn’t a rookie Mary, they had olive, celery and a jumbo shrimp cocktail.. So of course I had 2 and if anyone knows, I am allergic to shellfish, and the effects are fantastic.. It makes me whacky.. Yes whacky.. So 2 of those, and then the golden showers, I mean golden margarita’s started… and as soon as that happened, Big Dicky put in the Jimmy Buffet DVD… so clutch..

Did I Mention he had door prizes,,, it was stuff he probably accumulated over the years, but he gave everyone a ticket and people loving winning.. I won a MILLER HIGH LIFE t-shirt and a gold ball floatie game thing, that he took a marker and scratched out FOXWOODS and put BERMUDA on it. We arrived on time and checked in ..

Alright… going to the BOAT DRILL.. Never quit on safely…

About 4pm-------

We took our first dip in the pool… but were asked to not slide down the pirate’s cove slide as it is for children… I mean the midgets are below 36inches… haha… oh well…We hit the casino. And ate a few dinners… actually I hadn’t slept since like Wednesday nite, so we were asleep by like 10pm

5-22-10 early to rise…

We tapped into our stow away vodka and had about a dozen illegal cocktails… Louie even had a beer… I was a little shaky in the morning with the seasickness, but don’t you worry.. I still carried on the consiment party professional that I am.. The Pub Crawl started at 130.. 5 bars, and 5 drinks, in like 2 hours… we also had a few challenges.. Without embarrassing myself too much, I got chosen as team representative… for the honkey tonk padunka dunk dance contest… I came in 5th place out of 6 teams.. Rough… we made a flag out of a napkin and some ketchup and we had a fuckin blast… but we didn’t win MVDs… oh well.. We wanted to do karaoke but it was pre-empted due to the Celtics game.. The bar a was busy with Boston fans… The 70s dance party was kind of cool.. But too many people who actually used to party in the 70s were there…

Casino score after 2 days… Iggy-even…. Louie- down like $40, Geny - down like $120

5-23-10 BERMUDA day 1

11am and we have embarked onto Bermuda.. We stayed close to the ship today. Visited the brand new snorkel park beach… it was alright, kind of mini jenkensons… had a few rum swizzles… saw some bikini girls… The water is super blue here… a little windy and the sun is hot.. 2 hours and I am tan already… and don’t worry ladies…I have some tan lines to prove it. We spent a good part of the afternoon talking to locals planning our day tomorrow… as of right now we are doing coral beach, crashing the heritage parade, the after party festival and then some flanigans for dinner…

We had some dinner, then karokeed for a few hours.. It was just 10-12, but they extended it 90 minutes. A fantastic time.. Lots of singing and singing along… Met some cougars.

5-24-10 Bermuda day 2

Woke up and it was rainy… we had to adjust our plans.. Instead of 2 beachs, we went with the crystal caves . They looked like any other cavern style caves.. It was a fun time.. And when we emerged from the caves, the sun was shining.. We took the pink bus to Hamilton and enjoyed the heritage parade. We found 2 nice sets of locals to tailgate with, they gave us some drinks and some grub. New cougar friend Tammy couldn’t get enough of little local black kid photos.. I swear she is going to buy herself one when she gets back to the states. We learned about traditions and the GUMBEYs.. Danced a lot, took tons of photos.. Even got to march a few blocks with a family and their steel drum band.

We came back, swam a little and showered. Had a nice sushi dinner with iggy and Amanda. Dinner was excellent.. Above average sushi, but let met tell you it was the best green tea ice cream/ coconut ice cream combo sundae I have ever had. Then went to the on ship’s Disco lounge. Iggy had a blast playing musical booty dancing chairs.. He got booted near the end and we had a very fun nite…

5-25-10 Bermuda day 3

We swapped our day 2 and day 3 plans, so we had to see HORSESHOE, CORAL and ELBOW beach today, the last day here. However the weather was not cooperative early.. So the travel group of 7 from day 2 was widdled down to Iggy and I. We delayed our excursion til like noon… but then we hopped on the Bus and headed to ELBOW beach. We got off the bus a stop too late and had to walk down this windy path back towards ELBOW beach. We came across a reggae style garbage man who recognized us from the parade.. We absolutely love that. The was very windy, and it wasn’t as pink as it could have been cuz of the recent rains.. We climbed on rocks, took some photos and marched on.. We headed south looking for CORAL beach, but we came to some rock.. So we cut through a resort, only to find out that we had walked onto CORAL beach and then to its end without even knowing.. We cut through the resort and after hopping a fence ran into Karen, the heads grounds keeper.. Talked to her a few minutes, helped her with some flower planting and were on our way..

We hopped back on the bus and headed back towards the ship with only 1 beach left on the list.. Horseshoe bay beach. It was really nice, we climbed a little lava rock mountain to get some awesome views and took some photos and carried on.. Once gain jumping on the bus to head to the rum cake factory. Also bought some bovine at a DOCKSIDE PHARAMCY.. Very shady sounding.. Got souvenirs. Boarded the boat, swam in pool and showered.. The we went to fine dining at the WINDOWS restaurant on the ship.. OK food, OK company.. Louie was acting up and a few of the party were wearing on me with their lack of charm. But I ate and smiled.. Tonight they had the ship’s WHITE HOT WHITE PARTY… Louie, Iggy and I had gotten extra white sheets from the porters and made some slammin togas.. Amazingly enough, no one else on board made toga… we were a huge hit.. Lots of people wanted our photos, the cruise director booked us for Wednesday nite’s comedy show.. Should be interesting and a few people bought us drinks..

Oh we also got to dance to ON A BOAT.. And of course I videoed it,, that will be you tube gold.

5-26-10 ON our way…show biz

We embarked yesterday and with the help of the motion sickness pills, I slept great.. Iggy and I walked around the ship eating and promoting our show tonight.. It was a nice relaxing day.. Then we swam and ate some more.. And ate some more.. Now we wait..

Once underway we met with Paul the cruise director about being in his one man comedy act.. The midgets got to take the stage and do the high-low on him, I ran up and wrangled them with the whistle.. It was a very good time…

5-27-10 walked around ship mingling all day, drinking and what not.. The cruise director paul and the boys and I had a great dinner tonight.. On pay of course.. I ate so much shelfish I was inches from going into ani-shock… good times.. Watched some improv comedy and a sleazy game show. The midgets did a few promo spots for pauls stand up comedy and we went to bed around 12

5-28-10 docking..

We pulled in around sunrise, did a few laps around the ship to say good bye to the crew and a few passengers then disembarked. We stood at the costums exit and took photos with the passengers we liked

And were accused of working for the ships some more.. Then we boared the bus to maine.. Great cruise.. I ate so much, I think I may never need to eat again.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Bus support

A few of you donated and I love that. Still a long ways to covering repairs. Paypal to

Tina tink has volunteered to do some creative fund raising. You are all going to enjoy her plans. I think I maybe selling bus calendars if I have enough photos with the bus and hotties. If not, anyone wanna roll around on, in, or next to her ? Let me know

Midget cruise coming. And zo's intimate bday in ac. And then a full June it looks like. Camping, mermaid parade. And I have a wedding and a trip to gettsburg lined up.
July has a Jack Johnson already. Any other ideas? Let me know. Maybe Joe-fest.

Well hve a happy milf day to all that applies.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

a pretty eventful spring so far

Well the spring events have been quite colorful... Medieval times was amazing.. 36people came,everyone prepaid ( for the most part ) and it didn't have to shell out tons of money for this event.. this event really is setting a precedent for the future.. I love fun, I love the gathering of people and all the excitement, but it has been a long time coming that I shouldn't have to pay the lion share.. so lately people have really been stepping it up and I appreciate it..

on a bus note.. on the way home from the phillies game last Sunday, which was an awesome game, a great tailgate.. well except for some bitchy phillies girls next to us in the lot, the bus got 2 blow out flat tires.. Don't worry, my driving prowess once again saved lives.. The bus had to be towed and some of us didn't get home til 6am, and when starting at noon the day before that is a long tailgate i tell ya.. Well the bus needs 4 new tires and a few of my friends have already started chipping it.. it warms my cockals.. and for those of you that know me, my cockals are pretty warm on a regular basis.

oh how do you donate you say? pay pal works..., or you can hand me cash.. hell you can give it to a friend of mine and they will hand deliver it.. We may have a fundraiser camping trip if anyone is into that.. or fundraiser river rafting! not a bad idea right, would just be like what it would cost and an extra $25 or something.. wait.. look at that!! is that donate button?

and all proceeds will go to keeping the shortbus going another season! Mermaid Parade, 2 Jimmy Buffet concerts, a few PNC shows.. camping trips.. she has a lot of love left to give folks.. if everyone out there who ever had fun on the bus gives $25 we can keep her going easily, have some extra to throw some fun events and maybe even pay for my divorce

thanks and i will see you out there